064 Stop Complaining and Start Being Successful – With Sibyl Chavis

Introduction

Hello, hello, hello and welcome to another episode of Learning with Leslie, the podcast where you learn, I learn, we all learn about those things like Internet marketing, online business blogging, traffic generation, social media, all that www stuff.

I started this podcast to share what I’ve learned about Internet Marketing, and what I’m still learning, and to interview other experts who can help us on our blogging journey. And, today’s no exception. Today, I’m on the line with Sibyl Chavis.

Sibyl quit her job, sold her house, packed up her stuff, family included and decided to switch things up a little bit and pursue her passion. She made a decision to give up complaining for 40 days, which turned into 5 years,  that became the spark that changed her life. She blogs about her experiences at Possibilityoftoday.com, where she shares tips, strategies, suggestions and all that on how to live better today than yesterday. She has over 30,000 fans from Facebook, over 10,000 followers on Twitter, and my goal for this interview is to find out how we can move beyond all of the stuff that happen, and accomplish great things online. That’s what we’re going to talk about today.

 

LESLIE: Sibyl, thank you so much for joining me today. How are you doing?

SIBYL: I’m great, I’m great! How are you, Leslie?

LESLIE: I am doing just fine. I’m doing excellent. And, I’m excited for this interview. We tried to do this a number of times in the past, and things keep coming up, but we are finally here, and we can get this going.

SIBYL: Absolutely. I’m excited, as well. Thanks for having me.

LESLIE: Oh, not a problem. You are very much welcome.

The BIG Challenge — Stop Complaining for 40 Days

I read your bio, I read the stuff on your website, and it says that you quit your cushy job, sold your house, and you packed everything up, you move with your family to Southern Cali, but there was something that was very significant to me, is you decided to quit complaining for 40 days.

And, when I read that, I think to myself, “Okay, something, maybe something happened why she decided, “That’s it. Something has to change. I need to stop complaining.” What was going on at that time to cause you to make that conscious decision.

SIBYL: That’s a great question. I think it was just, I was working in corporate America, and totally, totally into the game, learned a lot, loved corporate America, had a great experience. But, like in any company environment, you work with people that you either love or you don’t get along with. There’s kind of a lot that you always have to do. There is a lot on you. I lived in Michigan. It was then sunny and 80 like it is here in California.

LESLIE: Hey, I live in Michigan.

SIBYL: And so, I noticed that I was just complaining a lot. And, it’s like I was getting filled with all of like these negativity, and I thought that it would be cool to just let it go.

LESLIE: All right.

SIBYL: To see if I could. I didn’t actually believe I could do it, at first. But, then, after the first week, I’m like, oh! I literally noticed the difference.

LESLIE: Wow! Now, was it difficult?

SIBYL: Oh, gosh! Yes! I mean, it’s not like one day I didn’t complain, and then, the next day, I did. I literally had the time to go through a whole condition if you will of getting my mind in shape, so that I just looked at things differently, reframed them in my mind, and kind of removed my normal auto pilot thought process that would just normally look at things and be agitated, or frustrated, or complain about them.

LESLIE: Got you. And, was it something that you did on your own, or did you do it with family, or with friends?

SIBYL: Yes, I did it with my husband because I think you got to deal with people who are in your space, and you got to let them know that you’re doing it, and he jumped on board, and I had a friend who actually gave me the idea that you can do it. So, we were all just doing it, and holding each other accountable, and it really kind of helped to do it together.

LESLIE: Were there any kind of breakthroughs that happened during that time where you finally figured out something, or whatever the case might be? Was there something significant that happened during that time?

SIBYL: Yes. Literally, it changed my life. And, I talk to people, and when I say that, because it’s a question I get a lot, they look at me like, “What are you talking about? Are you crazy?” But, literally, every step of the way, there was another different experience as I would complain less and less. And then, I would start looking at things differently, and it kind of allowed me to, so much on my mind was focused on everything that I didn’t like that I wanted to complain about, that I didn’t have room to focus on other great stuff that I really wanted to make happen, if that makes sense.

Say, you only have a pie, and you have to give slices to everything in your life, and if you’re giving all of your slices to complaining, then, you won’t have any slices to give to the things that you are really passionate about, that you want to accomplish, that you want to focus on, so when I made that shift, I had more of my pie to focus on what I really want, and that changed everything.

LESLIE: That’s awesome. What were some of those things that you decided, “Okay, now that I have all these extra time from not complaining, now I’m going to focus on this.” What were some of those things?

SIBYL: I started my blog. It’s hilarious. I started my blog. So, once I ended complaining, I started this whole process of being able to spend time reading, and it’s not that you necessarily have more time. It’s just that, so often, your mind is not running, and then, I would stop the complaining, and really started looking at the way I was thinking about things, a lot of that just slowed down. When I noticed that it slowed, I started putting different things into my mind that I was focusing on.

I started reading about stuff I was passionate about. I realized that I like to read. I realized that I like to write. And, one thing led to another, and I started blogging. So, it really kind of started everything from me, transitioning me from general counsel at an advertising agency kind of caught up and frustrated and annoyed. You know, doing low and having fun, it wasn’t like it was all terrible, but I just knew there was something else here, or I should feel a different way. And, that’s what the complaining allowed me to start transitioning into that different way to live.

Facing the Challenge

LESLIE: I’m thinking about this process of deciding to not complain. It’s different than deciding not to wear a pair a pants. This is a mindset, and to me, to change a mindset is very, very hard especially if it’s something that you’re used to doing. Were there specific strategies that you implemented, because I know, like you said before, it wasn’t like before this day, all I did was complain and after I never complained again. But, were there some strategies when you maybe caught yourself complaining or things that helped you alarm that process. Were there some specific things that you did to help?

Using ‘Time Gap’ and Conscious Decisions

SIBYL: Absolutely. One of the first things I started doing was just watching my thoughts as crazy as that sounds, like just watching the things that are running through your mind, and then, like when I first started, I was still complaining in my mind, even though I have decided I wasn’t going to actually say stuff. So, I’d be like, “Okay it’s crappy and rainy, and snowy today,” but I would just be saying it in my mind. I wouldn’t jump on an elevator and be like, “Man! Can you believe all these snow? This is awful! It’s freezing.”

So, I never let it come out of my mind, and I was just observing. I’m like, “Oh my God! There it goes again.” Like I was literally watching all the stuff I was complaining about. That was really helpful. And then, also in terms of like just being very sensitive about other people’s conversations because it’s so easy, again, jumping on the elevator, people like, “Hey! How was your  in?” “Oh, it was awful.” It was snowy, and freezing, and then, of course, you’re going to chime in, but just really being sensitive to those conversations, I would be like, if I was in that situation, I would learn how to like change the subject and be like, “Oh man! I can’t believe it’s already Friday.” Or, I would literally transform the way that I was thinking.

LESLIE: So-

SIBYL: Go ahead.

LESLIE: Were you finished with your statement?

SIBYL: Yes, that was basically it. It’s just about looking at my thoughts and then, not allowing the complaints to come out of my mouth.

LESLIE: So, it’s kind of like acknowledging what is going on, but not letting it get to the next level, the level of actually verbalizing it.

SIBYL: Absolutely, absolutely.

LESLIE: Very, very interesting strategy.

SIBYL: Yes. What I know is just that I call it like a time gap, if you will, so there is time between when something comes in your mind, and you actually verbalize it, right? So, I can say, “In my mind, I can think, ‘Oh, Leslie has a yellow shirt,’” but I haven’t really said that, and I started strategically using that time gap to choose not to say the complaint. And, that was step one, by watching my mind.

Then, the second step was literally looking and saying, “Okay, yes it’s rainy and cold, but what else am I overlooking because I’m allowing that to take precedent in terms of what I’m observing.”

LESLIE: There’s something really significant about this because you look at a lot of people that try to do things online and fail, and in my opinion, a big reason for that is because there needs to be a change in mindset. And, you have all these programs out there that teach you how to do things, how to set up a blog, how t0 make money online, how to do this, how to do that.

But, in my opinion, the first thing that needs to be dealt with is that mindset. And, that’s how I think, you can help people to have more success in the other things that they are doing is by focusing on that mindset first. Am I just be complaining about my situation? Am I really going to take action with all the things that I’m going to learn, and by doing that, I think we can accomplish much more.

So, I think, implementing that strategy of really just being conscious about what’s going on in your mind, questioning what’s going on in your mind, realizing what it is, and trying to decide what level should I let that get to. I think that’s very significant.

SIBYL: Absolutely. I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. And, it even goes, I think, as step beyond complaining because a lot of times, we don’t realize that we’ve been programmed wrong, that we have limiting beliefs, that, I can’t, you know, people who first started a business, “Oh, you can’t really start a business online,” because there are millions of people who are telling you that. “Oh, you’ll never make money.” And so then, you start really believing that.

Reprogramming your Beliefs

And so, the first step, I think, like you said, is to start reprogramming, identify what your limiting beliefs are and start reprogramming them, or at least start to try to. It’s not something you’re going to convince yourself at overnight, but what I noticed is, at first, I’m like, “You know what? I believe that I can create this online business.” And, people used to call it, “fake it until you make it.”

And then, you just take a step in the right direction, and you’re like, “Oh, wait, this is actually working.” And, you’re still having doubts, right? Because there’s so many other things that aren’t working, but just that little 1% of progress, kind of opens up your limiting belief, and each day, you just chip away, and then even more until it’s completely gone.

Believe, It is Possible

LESLIE: I agree with you. The biggest motivator I ever had from making money online was when I started what I was doing, and one day, I made $70. And, once I saw that, I said to myself, “Well, if just do this over and over…” But,–

SIBYL: Right, and you just had to believe and you had to see that it was possible –

LESLIE: Exactly.

SIBYL: So… I believe, and so, I’m going to try. And then, the point that people get to is like they’re pretending like, “Okay, I believe I tried, I believe I tried”. And then, they tried for like a week, and they don’t get money like, “Oh, I knew it!”

LESLIE: Yes.

SIBYL: But, like you said, the first step is really just, “Oh, okay, I’ve made $70.” It may have taken me two months to figure out what the formula was. I tried all the stuff. I now know what doesn’t work. And, here’s something that does, so this is the lane I’m going to run down, and you know what? You can make money online. You can have a business. And so, your belief starts to kind of strengthening as you continue to take little steps and have more and more progress.

LESLIE: You know what? I feel like there are so many different directions we can go. All these different aspects we can explore to the furthest extent. But, we got to move on.

Okay, I’ve interviewed a number of people that left corporate America, and they all had the same thing to say. When I asked,”Why did you leave it?” “I hated it, it wasn’t me,” and this and that. Up until this conversation, this is the first one I’ve heard where you actually said, you enjoyed it.

SIBYL: Yes, but I don’t complain.

Corporate America– A Great Learning Experience

LESLIE: Oh, that’s true. But, let’s focus on that a little bit. What did you enjoy about working in corporate America?

SIBYL: So, like everyone else, I’m not going to pretend like I was walking around like this is in person loving corporate America. It was something that I had to again, transform my perspective on and reprogram my mind. And so, there was a time that I felt the same way that probably so many people that you’ve spoken to felt, where you’re like, “This isn’t for me.” This is limiting. This is confining. I’m not tapping in my passion. And, what I was able to recognize is that there were things that I needed to learn, and but for having that experience in corporate America, I would be where I was, where I am now.

And so, I luckily realized that while I was having the experience, and so, although I knew that this isn’t where I’m going to ultimately wind up and this isn’t where I was going to be, I was able to look at my day, and all of the opportunities that I had, and all the things that I was learning in ways that I could try to do things better, and kind of perfect the skills that I knew I would need tomorrow and the next thing that I really wanted to do.

LESLIE: I see. So, it was kind of preparing you for the bigger plan.

SIBYL: Exactly, and looking at it that way allowed me to appreciate it because I was like, I need this, I need these experiences. I need to learn how to manage this conflict. I need to learn how to write this in the email and really communicate what I’m saying, and see that this person gets me, and dissuade and changes their mind, I started doing my job differently with more passion and more energy, and also an understanding of the role I had to play in my future life, if you will.

LESLIE: Awesome! When you think about corporate America, when it comes to business, that’s what people think about first because there’s so much that’s happening in corporate America, and of course, there’s going to be a lot that you can learn, if you’re there. There’s a lot that you can get from it. There are people that you can learn from, and I think it’s a good perspective that you have in terms of how you view your experiences there. That’s awesome.

SIBYL: Yes, I’ve always been, not always, but I recently have always been of the mindset that wherever you are today is exactly where you need to be. And so, the problem is that, “Oh, I’m here, and I’m not where I need to be.” The problem is that you’re not looking at all the things that you’re supposed to be taking in so that, you can get to where you ultimately want to be because you’re so focused on, “This isn’t it. This feels weird. This isn’t like my passion, and this isn’t my purpose, and I’m not making $30M online today.”

All of that is where you’re focusing your energy is instead of saying, “You know what? I made $70 today. That’s really good. This is how I did it. I’m not going to forever be making $70 a day.”

LESLIE: Yes.

SIBYL: But, the things that I’m doing today, I need this so that I can be making millions or whatever…

LESLIE: Whatever your goals are.

SIBYL: Then I set my goals to make tomorrow.

LESLIE: Awesome, awesome, awesome. Eventually decided to leave corporate America. Why did you make that decision? Or, were there certain things happening in your life at that time that said, “Okay, now is the time to move.”

SIBYL: Yes, I knew again that while I have found peace, if you will, and realized all of the things that being in corporate America, I was going to learn, and I have realized that I kind of, at one point, have learned all of the lessons that I felt like I needed. And, I had gotten a lot of the skills that I felt like I needed to create the next step that I wanted to create. Well, I don’t doubt that there’s still, I mean, I always felt like remember, there’s a lot to learn. I felt like, you know what? I got the majority of this. I’m not falling into the same traps that I used to fall into in terms of like getting caught up in the politics, in the drama, in the fighting.

All of that, I had kind of figured out how to allow it to be there, and to contribute to it so that, it can hopefully, positively… And, we can all move on and try to focus on a bigger picture, and I just felt like I had learned the lessons, that was the first thing. I have developed a lot of the skills. I knew that I was ultimately going to do this. So, I had strategically been setting up my life, so that I could be able to do this. And, at some point, my passion for what I wanted to do, overshadowed my fears of quitting my job.

LESLIE: Got you. So, in other words, what I’m getting here is you had some goals, and you kind of knew what those goals are for where you were at the time, and when you accomplished those goals, it was time to move on?

SIBYL: Yes.

Working Through Fears and Doubts and ‘Jumping Off’

LESLIE: Awesome. Now, as I read the story even further, it seems like that realization came at an interesting time. You had a family, you were married, seven months pregnant, and you –not just you– you and your husband decides, “Okay, we’re going to let it go and move forward.”

SIBYL: Yes.

LESLIE: What’s going on here?

SIBYL: So, when you say, I accomplished my goals, and I said, “You know, I had everything set up,” and there was something that we’ve been contemplating, but even still, what I realized was that we wanted to arrange everything so perfectly, that we were minimizing the risks of leaving our jobs.

But, the reality is, a lot of times, the greatest opportunities that we have are wrapped in all of our fears. And so, it happens for a reason. And, the reason is like, you have to learn to kind of jump even when you have fears, and you have doubts so that you can learn how to start working through fear and doubt.

And, although I would say, I knew it wasn’t the ideal time, and in a way, it came a lot sooner than when my husband and I thought it would come, but I think we have been working on being opening enough to the idea that we were able to convince ourselves, “You know what? Let’s just jump now.”

But, this isn’t 100% ideal, I’m pregnant, we’re moving across country, we’re both deciding to jump at the same time, but, I mean, my husband was like, “Look, we can stay here and do this, and do fine. And, we’re doing amazingly well. But, there’s other stuff we want to do, and at some point, you got to jump.” So, we just jumped!

LESLIE: I like it. I like it.

SIBYL: We just jumped. And, yes, I don’t have like a scientific formula, except there’s this great quote. It’s like, sometimes you just have to jump off cliffs and build wings on the way down. And, literally, that’s what’s like, “Let’s just jump, and let’s build our wings, and hopefully we start flying.” And, that was the lesson, I think, in a lot of ways. And, once you start falling, you’re like okay, at first you’re flying slowly, and you’re getting back up in the sky.

LESLIE: Yes.

SIBYL: But, the second you catch yourself, and you’re like, “I have wings. I made $70. You realize that you can fly.”

LESLIE: Wow. I love that. Somebody’s going to be listening to this, and they’re going to be thinking, they’re going to be going through something very similar, trying to decide on whether they should take that next step, and I believe they’re going to hear that, and they’re going to be motivated to take that next step. I don’t know what that step is, but you’re listening to this now, whoever you are out there, and I think you’re being encouraged by this. And, that’s what’s exciting about this to me.

SIBYL: Yes, and that’s how it happened to me. I think the thing is you have to think about like what do I feel comfortable with? Ask yourself questions. What feels right? Am I doing this for the right reason? And, if you are, and all of those things are yes, and all those times are pointing you that way, and the only thing that’s holding me back is fear, then, you should probably jump and work through your fears.

LESLIE: Definitely. Somebody is going to be listening to this, and they’re inspired by it, but it’s not the right time.

SIBYL: Absolutely.

LESLIE: And, if it’s not the right time, then, you should stay and wait and continue to learn what you need to learn in that situation you’re finding yourself in right now.

SIBYL: Absolutely.

Building Wings on the Way Down

LESLIE: Now, when you jump, the quote was sometimes you have to jump off cliffs, and build wings on the way down. But, you’re still going down. What is that process?

SIBYL: While you’re building your wings, right.

LESLIE: While you’re building your wings. What did going down look like for you?

SIBYL: Going down looked like for me getting up my solid confirmed bi-weekly paychecks for income that wasn’t guaranteed.

LESLIE: Yes.

SIBYL: You know, income that I had to figure out how I was going to generate, and a business that hadn’t begun. I hadn’t made $70. That was my going down, if you will, and get comfortable… you know, and put myself in a position where I didn’t need to make $70 for the month because I was pregnant, I had another kid. There was a certain way that we know that we needed to have certain income to cover just our general living expenses, and that, if you will, was my way down. It was just getting used to the idea of not having that steady reliable income in the beginning.

LESLIE: What was the hardest part of the process?

SIBYL: I think the hardest part of the process, honestly, was working through the fear. And, because there’s so much that’s a part of that, like you said, it’s reprogramming your mind, and imagine if you have like this beautiful garden of roses, and you have like all these weeds that had been growing for your life. And, in order to reprogram your mind, that’s the equivalent of getting rid of of all the weeds.

So, you have to sit there one by one, and pick out all the weeds, so you just have a beautiful garden full of flowers, and that’s work– it’s work day after day, and it’s getting comfortable with the unknown, and that was probably, I think the mental side of it, or the inner side of it, or whatever you call it. It was the most challenging. But, once you get that, like that’s your foundation, everything else just kind of comes out naturally from there, I think, in a great way.

LESLIE: Awesome. I interviewed a guy by the name of Greg Hartle a while back, and his website is TenDollarsandaLaptop.com, and he decided to get rid of everything besides $10 and a laptop and show people how you can start from nothing.

SIBYL: Yes.

Possibility of Today — Starting and Growing a Big Community

LESLIE: And, his story was awesome. And, he said, the hardest thing in the beginning was finding food. I think about it. He went to where he had nothing, but he was able to build himself to where he has some significant business and so on, and it’s interesting to see how different people take that leap of faith even in the midst of the failure, and still accomplish big things. It’s inspiring to see what you’ve been doing as a result of all the experiences that you’ve had.

So, then you decided to start a blog. Why?

SIBYL: I did. I did. My blog, I actually started my blog while I was still working in corporate America. I just would wake up at (obscene) hours in the morning, and then, blog at night. And, it was really just, I think, after my whole complaining thing, it was just a way to start letting out some of that extra bandwidth, or creativity that was in my mind that I had absorbed by the complaining. So, literally, it was almost like just a journal, and I was just like, I was trying to get my thoughts out. And then, I continued to do it, and I continued, I think, to get better and better, and really kind of look at the way that blog should be and worked on my writing, and then, I just started kind of building a community.

LESLIE: Okay, and you’ve been building that community, and you have a significant community. I come to your website, and I see there are a bunch of comments on your blog posts, this one that you just posted 2 days ago has 26 comments, and some of them before that have many more than that.

I look at your Facebook fan page, and I see 30,558 fans; I see over 10,000 followers on Twitter. Obviously, you’re doing something right. But, let’s go back to the beginning stages of building your blog. First of all, when you started building your blog, did you foresee it being a business?

How the Blog Started

SIBYL: No, I didn’t. Like I said, it started as a journal. And, –

LESLIE: When was that, by the way?

SIBYL: I think like 2009. Yes, that was three years ago, and it wasn’t even under the name of my current website, which is Possibility of Today. It was under another name, alternaview.com, and it was merely just about being looking at life from a different perspective.

And, although I didn’t think it was going to be a business, I knew there was a reason it felt right, and the direction that I knew, I was going to try eventually because this was 2009, right? I haven’t really decided exactly what I was going to do. I was just happy I wasn’t complaining. But, the direction I knew I kind of felt like I was going to go in, it just felt like this blog was going to be a piece of it.

LESLIE: Got you. So, you started a blog. You started adding content to the blog. At what point did you realize, “Oh wait, this can possibly be something more than just me having a journal of my online ideas.”

SIBYL: Yes. I think when I got an email from someone, and she said, “What you wrote really helped me.” “I was in a bad place,” and “I didn’t really know exactly what to do,” and when people started kind of expressing that, I realize, this isn’t just about me, and just putting stuff out there like people, this is resonating with some folks. You know, even if it wasn’t the time telling people or whatever… It’s resonating, and I’m able to actually help. I’m able to learn from them, which is great because I want to learn, and they’re able to learn from me.

LESLIE: what’s going on at your blog? What is your blog about? What’s a short summary of what it is today?

SIBYL: It’s basically a summary of my life, and it all starts from the realization that I had, that there really is a different way to live. You don’t have to be caught up with all these negativity and complaining. You don’t have to be all caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, and run through your day on auto pilot, like you can literally experience, and live in the moment, and it doesn’t mean that you’re some zen monk that’s singing in a choir, meditating like you can be a part of this world and be successful, and still have like a peace of mind.

That is what I mean by there’s a different way to live. And, that’s what I talk about because everday, we have this possibility, and there are infinite amount of possibilities everyday, and what I realized was that I was overlooking so many of the possibilities of today. And, by doing that, I think I wasn’t awake.

LESLIE: Yes.

SIBYL: I wasn’t really, really living. I’ll go on this really successful, and I had everything I wanted, and I had a perfect family, and like the whole little story tale. All of the pieces were there. There was still something else. And, what I know now, is that it was that there really is this different way you can live.

LESLIE: Just thinking about your blog, and how much you’ve been able to accomplish the huge community that you’ve been able to grow, and the people that follow what you’re doing over there. I think sometimes, we learn a lot from people that get into blogging, not necessarily as a business, but for other reasons. I’ve learned a lot from people that have gotten into blogging as a business. I’ve gotten into blogging as a business.

But, what do you think were the key things that played a part in the growth of your blog when it wasn’t where it is today?

SIBYL: Yes, I think one of the main things was just being authentic because it’s so easy, especially in my blogoshpere, in an online world, to kind of play a role because you feel like you have to be a professional. You have to be selling something. You have to be better than this person next to you getting better information.

LESLIE: And, you have to do everything perfectly.

SIBYL: And, you have to do everything perfectly. Exactly. And so, for me, when I say I was able to find my voice, it’s just was like, I was able to talk. So, instead of feeling like I had to be an authority on this, or tell you this is this way, I’m like, “I’ll just be me, and I’ll sing what I’m thinking, and I’ll learn along the way, and I’ll tell you how I went through this day, and what worked and what didn’t work, and just doing that one thing.” And, I’m going to laugh, and maybe have a typo here… I’m going to just be me, and letting it kind of, letting that guard down is what really kind of opened me up to the community, and the community to me.

LESLIE: And, that’s something that I hear, over and over and over when I speak to successful bloggers because in the past, for you to be known for a particular topic, it’s because you’re an expert. Maybe, you went to school and you studied that topic, or something of that sort, but today, it seems as if it’s more of just knowing, it’s not knowing everything, but it’s a journey that you’re going on, and you’re bringing people along in this journey with you. As you learn, you share, and there’s a lot of powerful stuff that can happen with that.

SIBYL: Absolutely, and people are cool with you not knowing an answer to everything, as long as you don’t pretend that you know the answer.

LESLIE: Yes, yes.

SIBYL: Talking about what you have learned, and what you do know, and for me, it was just like connecting with my audience in a real way like really being concerned about them, and really developing relationships. It’s like we’re a community together, and we’re learning and growing together.

LESLIE: How do you connect with your audience? What are some of the things that you do?

Making Connections in Twitter and Facebook

SIBYL: Anything. Like I’m always on Facebook, and for me, my page on Facebook… it gets me through the day. You know, when I see people coming in, and they say funny things, and we’re laughing together. I put out a post, and then, they’ll react to that. And, we talk about that, “Do you really think?…” And, just engaging, and having real conversations, and people emailing me, “Hey, can we jump on Skype?” And, just being open enough to develop relationships with people I have never met. But, for the fact that I have this blog, and this opportunity to meet so many great people.

LESLIE: You know what? That’s awesome. I think that goes along with being authentic, connecting with th audience, being authentic in that connections. You got to make real connections. It’s not just someone you know in the Internet, and you know this person as Susie255, or maybe of that sort. But, you’re actually getting to know the individual, and those individuals are getting to know you and that’s a very powerful thing.

SIBYL: Yes, and I mean, like so often, we all have goals, and I get that because I’m a huge goal-setter. And, it’s like, “Okay, in order for me to get from point A to point B, I need all these things to fall in line,” and so they would start looking everything as a tactic. But, the success of growing a community — community means you need to kind of throw all of the tactics out because it’s about developing relationships. It’s about like, “Hey, I want to talk to Leslie because he’s a good guy.” Not because he has this great show, and he’s going to interview me.

LESLIE: Yes.

SIBYL: Your agenda has to change. We have to genuinely and authentically want to connect with people, and I have that desire, I think because I have worked in human resources for so long. I was over the Human Resources Department when I was at this advertising agency, and I just loved connecting with people, and so it was kind of easy and natural to do, but that, I believe, is the foundation of what created my community.

LESLIE: Awesome. Be authentic, connect with your audience in a real way. Before we move on, is there anything else you want to mention in terms of what it takes to grow a blog?

Learning from Failures

SIBYL: The next thing is just being willing to learn along the way, and being willing to fail because the reality is that, I have another great quote, “Success is 95% failure.” When it comes to blogging like that’s so true because there are going to be so many things that you try. I can’t tell you the number of plans I came up with and, “Okay, I want to have a bigger community, so I’m going to do this and this, and this, and then, maybe people will like that, and that will resonate.” And, it wouldn’t.

Sometimes, I would spend hours on this post like this is going to be the best post, and it would suck, and it would turn out like people would go like, “What?” I don’t get it, and I was willing to fail over and over and over again, until I learned what was right for me, what worked for my community.

And, I continued to fail, and I continued to be open to learning. And, people will always say, “Oh, yeah, I’ll fail, ” I’ll fail but that to me, was the biggest skills that I learned in terms of blogging because you fail so much in the beginning.

LESLIE: So many times.

SIBYL: I perfected failure.

LESLIE: …failure.

SIBYL: I know exactly how to handle it. I know how to manage it. I know what to learn from it. I know how to move on. I know how to keep going, and that means that I’ve had thousands and thousands of failures.

LESLIE: But, how do you keep moving when you’re failing? How do you not give up?

SIBYL: Because in my mind, I don’t look at it as failing, I look at it as , “Oh, that one didn’t work, right?” So, I’m like, “Okay, so there’s a formula here. There’s a way. I just have to find it and discover it.” So, it’s like when you’re playing a video game, and you have to get to level 10, just because you die… you don’t stop playing the video game. You’re like, “Okay, I’m going to keep playing this video game I’m going to get better,” And, next time you’re going to get to level two, and people don’t understand, and I didn’t understand either that it’s the exact same thing like you are playing in a way, a game, and can you outlast the frustration, the failure? Can you learn? Can you say, “This time I’m not going to fall in that hole that I fell in ten times.” And, that’s what’s it’s about, like I don’t really see this as failure. I see this part of the learning process.

LESLIE: And, it all comes back to mindset.

SIBYL: Yes.

Free Products — A Good Way to Earn Revenue

LESLIE: Awesome, I love it. Let’s talk a little bit about money because we talk about online business, we got to talk a little bit about money. Because in preparing for this interview, I had my assistant go through and do a bunch of research on you, and she comes up with show notes, and I look at my show notes, and I didn’t see anything like products mentioned, or anything of that sort. So, I said, okay, maybe my assistant didn’t get everything from you or anything of that sort. So, I went to your website, and I said, I’m going to find the products that are for sale, and I started browsing and browsing, and I’m like, wait a minute, I don’t see anything for sale. Why is that? Am I missing something?

SIBYL: Yes, it’s like one of the number one questions I get because your assistant did a good job, and you did too. You guys are searching for something that doesn’t exist. I worked in corporate America for right over ten years. So, I understand business. I know how money is made. I know that you need to have an income, and –

LESLIE: That’s how money is made, yes.

SIBYL: — and your income needs to exceed your expenses, so that you can have a a nice pretty balanced sheet… But, I have strategically decided that I want to be very thoughtful about the way that I am going about my income streams, and so that means that my first phase of this, if you will, in terms of my business was really to just develop my community, and to do it in a genuine authentic way, and to meet a lot of great people, and to just really focus on building my community.

I’m going to always have a significant portion of my business that’s just giving away books and information, and a lot of things for free. I speak to aanyone who calls me, I take all Skype calls, I return all emails asking for advice. I genuinely believe that I want certain parts of my business, and this is just me that are going to always be for free.

I am in the stages right now of finishing my first book, well, actually my second book. It’s called, Your Unstoppable Progress, The 7-Step Fail-Proof Method to Accomplishing Anything you Want. That will be the first item that I will offer for sale, but again, there will be a lot of free programs, and a lot of things that will accompany that just because I have a unique, like I said, interesting kind of way of looking at the way that I want my revenue streams to flow.

LESLIE: Now, we spoke a little bit on the pre-interview, and you made a statement, that you plan on writing more books, and giving most of them away for free because you believe that free is the best business model.

SIBYL: Right.

LESLIE: How is that?

SIBYL: Okay, so, I know it’s going to sound like crazy to a bunch of people who are kind of starting their businesses. So, I’m not saying that you do everything for free because you have overnight expenses.

LESLIE: Yes.

SIBYL: In terms of your business, and then, you obviously have personal expenses. What I’m saying is just that, I think there are unique ways that you can always generate income, and they afford you that opportunity to give away a lot of other stuff.

LESLIE: To give stuff away for free.

SIBYL: Yes. For me, it’s a combination of things, like I will have products that are for sale, and programs that are for sale. But, again, the majority of my things will be given away for free.

LESLIE: So, it’s basically you’ve made a decision as to what you wanted to accomplish in your business, and how you wanted to accomplish it, and the first phase for you was building your community, and then, the second phase was monetizing it?

SIBYL: Yes, and I mean, like as an example, because of the size of my community, and the number of people that come to my page, I get people all the time, saying, “Hey, we’ll pay you to put a link on your page, or to put this advertisement up.”

I have never put that stuff up, not because I think it’s wrong for people to do it. I think, everyone has different business models. But, for me, that is just not one of my income streams that I’ve decided I wanna have, and so, I’m going to stay consistent with that. And, as mentioned, I’ve developed this business plan in my mind of the ways that I’m going to generate revenue, and I’m going to stay in those lanes. And, in the lanes that I’ve decided I’m going to give stuff away for free, I’m just going to continue to do it.

So, that’s me. I’m being authentic, and that’s what I like to do.

LESLIE: Awesome. So, you’re being real to who you are, and you’re sticking to the plan that you’ve set up for yourself.

SIBYL: Yes.

Finding Your Own Formula for Success

LESLIE: Awesome. We’re at about 45 minutes right now, so we’re going to kind of close it, bring it together. Someone is listening to this right now, and they’ve been discouraged about what they’ve been doing, trying to accomplish something significant online. A lot of bloggers listen to my podcast. What would you tell that person?

SIBYL: I would tell them the same thing that I felt in the beginning too, is that it takes commitment. It takes time. You have to learn along the way. But, once you do that, there is a formula out there for you that will get you exactly where you want to be. And, the thing is, it’s not the same. There’s not one person that can give you the formula. You got to get a piece from Leslie. You got to get a piece here. You got to read this and get a piece. You got to ask yourself questions infront of your own piece. And then you customize the perfect path for you.

But, once you really believe that that happens there, then it’s just about bringing all the pieces together. And, there’s no way that you won’t get to where you want to be with your blog.

LESLIE: Awesome. I think that’s the perfect place to end.

SIBYL: It’s just not possible. Once you do it, it’s just not possible for it not to work.

LESLIE: Awesome. I want my audience to be able to connect with you in as many ways as possible. How do they do that?

SIBYL: Drop by Facebook page, Possibility of Today with Sibyl Chavis; come by my blog at PossibilityofToday.com; you can follow me on Twitter, SibylChavis; you can send me an email, sibylchavis@gmail.com, whatever you’re most comfortable with, I’m here. Ask me whatever questions. Just stop by and say, “Hello!” As I said, I always love meeting new and great people online.

So, there you have it guys, I knew that you found a lot of value in this interview. And, I want to thank Sibyl, and I would like you to thank her too. So, here’s what I want you to do, head on over to PossibilityofToday.com, or you can hit her off on Facebook, Possibility of Today, or on Twitter, Sibyl Chavis@sibylchavis, and let her know that you appreciated what she’s shared on this show.

As usual, I want to let you know that his podcast is brought to you by nothing else, but the 7-Day Boothcamp at 7daybootcamp.net where I show you how to start an online business, from doing the research to setting up your domain name, to installing WordPress, the type of content you want to be adding, how to drive traffic, all that stuff is covered in 7 days of video training. You get to watch over my shoulder as I walk you through the process. So, head on over there. 7-daybootcamp.net. It’s FREE! It’s fun! It’s all the stuff you want it to be. So, head on over there and sign up.

That’s it for this podcast. That’s it for this episode. Until next time, this is Leslie Samuel, from LearningwitihLeslie.com, take care and God bless.